Holy or Unholy

The family who by now are tremendously worried about my unmarried state and my general disposition towards everything they consider right and sacred has as of recent paused seeking directly from the divine and has resorted to seek help from those with knowledge of the dark arts(?) to figure out what the problem is. Now isn’t that yet another level?

So apart from the usual “she doesn’t pray enough”, “she is faithless”, “lots of evil eye”, there were some interesting revelations too…

Revelation #1

A girl from a “a particular faith” has done something to me (fed something charmed?) as a result of which I am not interested in getting married. What absolute bullocks. There is in fact one particular guy who I’d marry this very instant if ONLY I COULD. Haha. No big fat Greek Wedding, no fancy dos, no nothing just plain and simple seal on the deal.

Revelation #2

Everytime I come home I’m sick?! Well there is a degree of truth to this. But I would discount it owing to the dust at my place as a result of construction work carried out in and around the neighbourhood. I’m sick at work too. For crying out loud,  I’M ALLERGIC TO DUST. HACHOO! But how on earth would these fellows know that considering the fact that they haven’t seen me. I suggested google search to the mother, but a google search of me wouldn’t reveal all these. Apparently they don’t even know my name. Heh

Revelation #3

This is regarding my brother. Apparently girls from that “particular faith” try ever so hard to entice him. Well I don’t know why the special focus is on that particular faith, given that the brother is quite the charmer and girls from all and sundry have the hots for him. I suppose guys do too. Such bullocks. Is there some sort of collective conspiracy against girls of this particular faith by people engaged in this practice, revelation #1 and revelation #2 came from two sources at two different instances. How could two different people come up with the same random thing?

Revelation #4

There are spirits wandering about our house. DUDE.  What the hell. According to the mother, she has on a number of occasions seen shadows passing around the house. She hears doors opening and footsteps and whatnot. Neither I nor my sister have ever witnessed or experienced anything of the sort. However, there is a particular window in my room which is left open with no explanation whatsoever. Apart from this nothing whatsoever.

On the other hand, tenants downstairs happened to mention to the father that he too sees these footsteps and shadows and whatnot. Not just him but his wife and kids too. According to my sister, “that could just be their CATS”. Fair enough. He also mentioned that ever since he moved here (nearly 2-3 years) they too have been falling sick quite often. Dust? It’s all in your head, perhaps? According to these fellows these spirits are souls of dead people. Yikes. Haha. THANKS TO revelation #4 we are never allowed to stay at home ALONE. On the occasions I’m not home, the mother actually plonks herself in with my sister and sleeps there too. The absolute horror!

I’d like to know how these fellows come up with all these random cockamamie stories. I’m also wondering why and how these jokers failed to mention one big truth about me? I’m not complaining though, not in the least. Well I’d also like to maybe throw a brick or two at them for mentioning the spirits because henceforth, everywhere the mother goes, us babies will be compelled to go. Bleh! But the best thing is, atleast for 1 ½ days the mother wont bring up a random boy and try to plonk him in my face!!!! YAY.

Advertisements