The dude-finding has not stopped. If at all the frequency and intensitiy of it has risen to something more like dude-shoving. One would have thought that at this ripe old age of 28 (PLUS) this dude-shoving would have stopped.
The one before the two most recent ones went something along the lines of this. We had returned home (I don’t remember from where) and I put on my pjs and got to sleep when the mother at 11 in the freaking night tells me to go get dressed because I have to meet a prospective. So yes, put on some nice clothes, put on some make up and some high-heels so that I can seal the deal on this to get to Germany. Apparently the dude is from Germany and I’d have to marry him and go “settle there” and my life would be complete. Ta da. So the course my life would take was already decided even before any one of us even saw the dude. Not even his name was relevant.
So the dude arrived around 1130 and somewhere along the conversation he let’s me know that my “picture” and “bio-data” was passed around among four of them (him, his brother, and two cousins) by an “Aunty”. He is down on vacation and the night before he was to leave this happened. Hence the timing. So anyway the “picture” and “bio-data” completed one round among four boys. When it landed on him the second time, he had picked it up apparently and told the rest that he’d just go and see what the deal is all about and that when he is back they could all have a good laugh about it. After all nothing to lose he mused. Honestly. And I just have to sit there and listen to this. What’s worse is that I have to sit through this humiliation due to no doing of mine. Ah. I’m pretty sure half the Muslim male population of this country has been privy to these “pictures” and this “bio-data” of mine at some point in their lives.
Anyway the meeting concluded around 1 odd. The guy was fairly decent in that he wasn’t planning on getting married anyway anytime soon so that means the whole thing was just going to be easier for me. The problem usually is when the fellow likes because then my family sure as hell can go to lengths. And breadths. For about a week or so the family was trying to make me join a class and learn German. They consulted a couple of relatives/ friends who have gone on to “settle there” and assured me that it would be fine. I’d have no problem. Language won’t be an issue. For example “this one’s wife said so”. Oh and “this one’s wife” is not studying nor working, so you know, just being a wife (which is all fine and well but not how I hope to spend the rest of my life)
The next proposal which was about two weeks or so after, was where the mother showed me the picture of a dude and told me that, with this proposal I can find “no fault”. “There is nothing wrong for you to fuss about.”
So the meeting was arranged on a particular day, but rescheduled without even checking on my availability. So although the meeting was to happen around 6 in eve I turned up around 730 ish. I was at a meeting but my phone was having its own party from 6 on wards. When I eventually got there, I found the fellows parents, a brother, and the wife of the other brother (who at some point would demurely say that he (her husband) is in Dubai..for work.. he works there.. I’m just here on holiday). Okay the fact of the matter is that #dudemostimportant was nowhere to be seen. So apparently he works in London. I was also apparently told that only his family would come. I also apparently have memory issues.
As customary, the men would sit separately and the women would sit separately. Once seated I was supposed to engage in conversation with the sister-in-law. She was decked in gold jewelry, married at probably 18-19 and lost no opportunity in referring to her husband every now and then, blushingly.
“Mother (of mine) to the fella’s mother: “so does your son call you everyday?” to which the reply is “yes he calls me everyday on his way to work unlike my other son;her husband” (and points to the DIL) and the DIL goes “oh yes my husband (blushes) he has no time, he is very busy” (adjusts scarf)
Through out this episode I did not say anything apart from the occasional yes and no’s and yes I did keep looking at the time. The father was a real talker. Even when the rest of the family wanted to leave he just wanted to sit and talk.
Once the guests left, it all started, the family started singing the praises of a boy whom they had never even met ever, based solely on what the boys family fed them. For instance, the boy has about 9 degrees and somehow that makes him perfect for me. Oh and there were a whole load of tosh that I don’t even remember. The fellows family called back saying no “she didn’t even talk to us” and the mother (of mine) tried to reassure them “it’s okay that’s how she is.. she’s shy around new people”. Nope didn’t work. Poor me.