Dude Unfortunate.

Let me introduce you to dude unfortunate. The “chosen one” out of the barrage of prospective candidates that ensued from the advertisement posted in the Matrimonial Section in the News Papers. He is currently working in the Maldives in the hospitality industry, appears fairly decent considering most of these proposals but, still a bit too cool for his shoes. Nevertheless since I am not even in the lookout none of what he is, is of any consequence to me.

The two parents communicated and then the ball was thrown into my court. To mesmerize, to ensure that he I somehow seal the deal on this marriage do once and for all.  At the first occasion while I was having my dinner, the phone was shoved in my face at which I fussed loud enough for dude unfortunate to hear “BUT I’m having my dinner?” So bloke unfortunate rather awkwardly goes “I will call you later” and he does. He called me half hour later. The conversation was entirely one-sided at which he gives me his entire life story in a nutshell and ends the conversation with another opening, “and I am on Viber”. The fact that the conversation was entirely one-sided didn’t strike him as odd since the mother had mentioned to him that I happen to be the “shy type”. Couple of days later he messages me on Viber (yes the mother had taken the liberty of landing him my number) which I ignored and pretended to have never got. This doesn’t stop the mother who dumps her phone on me and tries coaxing me to call him. I refuse. Then she does the usual, “You will call him, you will somehow makes this work and if not you can stop all your work and come and stay at home” (this is just a watered down version of the entire conversation, much colorful language was used). She rings him, and dumps her phone on me and stares daggers at me while I pick up and say hi. Fortunately though she leaves, assuming I can’t do the whole giggly lovey tosh which so naturally happens when you talk to a random stranger you don’t want to talk to whilst she is standing there.

Why these fellows cant read signals is really beyond me. First the one-sided conversation, then the ignored messages. So I tell him plainly what anyone with half a brain would have figured out, the fact that I am not interested, and that all this was the fam-bam forcing me. Done and Dusted I thought.  The next day the mother calls me and goes “the boys parents want to come and see you. When shall I ask them to come, Saturday or Sunday?”

Gah. So then I had to find out from dude unfortunate what exactly is going on to which he goes “Your folks are insisting that my parents come and see you”. Oh the Embarrassment. So I ask him to try dodging it. The mother keeps hounding the fellow. Two days back when she came over she started hounding at me to call the fellow and when I refused she messages him inquiring him about his day. PSYCHOTIC. Then I had to message the fellow again asking him to just ignore and hopefully that she will stop. Dude unfortunate was ticked off, “thought you’d deal with it! Why don’t you tell them you don’t like me, without dragging me into it!”. Oh Lord. Hahah. If it only were that easy. I said IGNORE. Now he is ignoring me (which I obviously have NO problem whatsoever) and the mother who promised me that somehow she will “get to the bottom of this”.

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snobregal

I blow my own trumpet...

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